A first date is a way to find out whether you would be interested in seeing someone again and maybe further down the line forming a relationship with that person. It’s a great time to ask open-ended questions to get an idea of a person’s beliefs, views, and ideologies. It also helps you establish where the person is in their lives (whether they are looking for something serious or just fun), how mature the person is, and whether you have anything in common.
One thing to avoid when asking questions is to make them sound mechanical, clichéd, or rehearsed. One option is to use them when there is an awkward silence, and you can half-jokingly ask one of the questions to lead into another conversation.
Some good open questions include:
Finding out a person’s aspirations is a good way to know what makes them tick. If they hate their job, you can find out more about why they hate their job and what they would do if they could do anything in the world. If they want to become wealthy, what is the driving force behind it, and what point would they consider themselves wealthy.
We all did many crazy things when we were teenagers, whether it was pranks on the school teachers, running away from home, getting drunk at a friend’s house, or that first love; the teenage years provide a wealth of conversation questions that can be talked about on a first date. You can find out what grades they got, why they were so poor at math, what made them choose their university degree. The list is endless.
Almost everyone wants to travel or dreams of traveling, so finding out places your date has been and finding out what places they love to go to is an easy conversation starter. Find out about the last holiday they took or the best vacation they had – although be careful here as the best vacation may have been with an ex! You can also establish travel preferences like luxury or wilderness, flying or train culture, or relaxation.
Every one of us watches movies or does something that entertains us, so asking about what the person does in their spare time is a great way to find out whether you share any common interests. For example, you might love watching thriller films that open up the conversation to movies, actors, and directors. Maybe you are both music lovers and have been to some of the same concerts or seen the same bands if someone has got an unusual hobby or interest or does something that you think is boring, try not to let it show as it may make the rest of the date harder and the conversation could dry up.