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Wanting My Lost Soul Mate Back

After 8 and a half years of being together, and seven since we were married, my soul mate came home last Tuesday and ended our relationship, crying and claiming that she was a POS because she had not worked in 3 years and was sponging off of me. I tried to explain to her that I don't think she is a POS and don't care that she has not worked in 3 years because I love her and it is my job to take care of her. She told me that she loves me too, but that we cannot be together.

I was shocked and did not know what to answer. I started to cry and asked her to thing about us and the family we had built.

After some long reflection, she has suddenly (for a month and a half) been spending a lot of time with "people from school" and not coming out and inviting me to parties she has been invited to (not unusual, as I am a recluse, so she would simply say that she had been invited to a party and was going to go). Maybe signs of an affair were in front of my eyes but yet I did not want to see it. Partying, staying out late, coming home drunk. But I support her in anything she does, so was happy that she had made some friends and was having a good time.

I spoke to her mom two days after she dropped the bomb and left, who told me she left because she felt we were "growing apart", but "feels guilty" and will not speak to me. Somehow, not being able to talk about feelings like "growing apart" and the fact that she can not even face or talk to me give me the gut feeling she had an affair. Even if that is the case, I forgive her (even if she never admits to exactly what is going through her mind or happened) and want her to come back. I love her too much to give up hope on our relationship. I want my soul mate back!

My friend told me that maybe she always knew I were someone she could settle down and have the family dream with, but thatís not what she wanted (or was ready for) at that point of her life. She might have left me to be with someone who suited her short term needs, while always knowing (or hoping) she would come back when she was ready for the commitment with me. He says that many girls panic, and runs! After a while gets tired of that, grows up, and returns to the relationship that made her feel safe, secure, and home. Boys and Girls go on to have a wonderful relationship now that she knows for sure this is what she wants, and doesnít regret not having tried other relationships.

I feel sad about his opinion but start to think that he is completely right. I only wish I could get my soul mate back.



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