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I want to believe in my abilities I want to believe in my abilities. I am a person who struggled with low self-esteem. I am not confident of myself and the fear of approaching people is one of my greatest. I always feel that the people around me are talking bad behind my back. Because I did not like to speak to people, I feel more comfortable talking to people behind the computer screen. This is the easiest way for me and for so many people also that is out there with this deep feeling of loneliness. During my secondary school days, when I was asked to stand and present my answers to the class. I was so nervous and afraid during the presentation and I perspired until my uniform was totally drenched. Needless to say, my friends made fun of me and I felt miserable. In 2008, the turning point in my life came when I joined Church and got to know who God and Jesus is. I made a decision to commit myself to weekly cell group meetings and church services. It was hard to convince my parents but I at the end I understood that the only one who needs to be convinced is me. The love of my cell group members and the discipleship given by my cell group leader help me to grow in my self-esteem. Every morning I say to myself: You need to believe in yourself and your abilities. Throughout my Christian walk, there were many ups and downs. I experienced parental objection to come to church, which caused much family tension. There were times when I had to struggle to meet ends meet and provide proper meals for myself. During this period, there were many times when I told God that I wanted to give up, but God’s word in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”, encouraged me to keep on going. This year, I was also given a chance to preach in youth service and cell group when I went to Indonesia. It was challenging but I took a step of faith and believed God. I learned how to play guitar and was given many chances to play on stage for hundreds of people as well but I am not ready yet, I hope to can do it soon, but for that I need to believe in my abilities. I am still in the process of learning and I believe as I keep on trusting God, He will take me into my destiny that He has in placed for me. I am grateful to God for what He has done for me, and also all my church leaders and friends who have constantly sowed in my life. Without all these support and help, I would not be who I am today. Thank God!
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