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Hi everyone I needed to ask I need help

Can somebody here help me know how it is the woman I love? My Jen I miss her so much It has been so painful seen her go seeing her leaving me like this she was my all when I was human and still is when I met she was very affected by some problems she was having with her family and her friends and I was there to listen and be there for her with the time she talked to me about what happened to her and I told her some stuff of mine I felt I could trust her that she wouldnt hurt me It was easy to fall in love with her and I was happy when she liked me too she was the only woman that loved me when I was human the only one that I wasnt too little to show some attention to me. We chatted for three months I guees we were friends for two we were together 6 months we were ok if not perfectly for 5 months we didnt chatted a month maybe she was busy maybe she was thinking how to break my hearth maybe both.
Can somebody tell me what changed?what happened to us?
Right now I find myself not being exactly human
How can I make contact or summon a hight level wise creature? I need to know why I suffered so many transformations and why I was forced to came back by Lilith I need explanations and to ask him to help me to move on since doing it on my own would be painful and very traumatic for me and my mother I wouldnt be annoying people here but I have asked in forums and nobody have wanted to help me.
Thanks for your time
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