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Clarity, strength, confidence and ambition.

I have a wish to become a legendary j-rock bassist. Me and my friend have set up all the plans for it, and I've even picked out a bass [well, I was supposed to get a bass already, but. Oh well, never mind xDD]. The problem is that I am a procrastinator and the moment I get confused where I should move next, it takes me more and more strength to pick up the guitar. I want to master it. However, I seem to be confused. I just need some kind of a spiritual afflatus, an enlightenment. Something that would keep me moving. Also, I started taking Japanese classes, so desire and enthusiasm is very, VERY important. I MUST DO MY BEST! Maybe people will read this and maybe they'll start to believe in me - and that might push me to try harder. I just need clarity! Clarity, and a spiritual push to move me and keep me going!
Well, it's pretty simple with the confidence thing. Well, what kind of girl doesn't want to be beautiful? There are two people whose looks I admire most - Uruha [from the GazettE] and Miyavi. I just feel that I need that model-ish, breath-taking beauty with a bit arrogant and narcisstic attitude [like Uruha in photos] and some of that wild, crazy, hyper and confident charm that Miyavi has [aka - the ability to look good even when doing the stupidest things]. I'm already concentrating all my mind power into that, and maybe this would also make my 'spells' more effective?
It's all for the confidence - and it's something I've wanted for a long, LONG time. I know it's supposed to be that way. That's why I must do everything I can to achieve that. I've even made a little collage to convey my vision of 'beauty':
https://i25.tinypic.com/9gzg8w.jpg
[I'm not sure if that is a necessity, but I'll post it anyway]

I would love you all to help me at this.
Best wishes to you all!



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